My mom was gorgeous. Not in your traditional way though. She had a brutal nose. She hated her nose. Iron Man’s nose reminds me of her nose, which is why I love it so much. Her nose made her, just like it makes him. I remember her saying that my dad loved her nose and would never let her get a nose job. I loved him for that.
But my mom had these eyes, these deep honey eyes. With blue rings around them. Nobody has eyes like she had. They were amazing.
My mother aged really well. I don’t think she started to really look her age at all until about 45 – maybe later. She didn’t like aging though. She coloured her hair and used all sorts of creams. I don’t think I would describe my mom as a ‘girly girl’ but she was big on being ‘done up’ to leave the house. She always wore make up, and almost always did her hair.
Not surprisingly, I have gone through many seasons when it comes to stuff like that. When I was in high school I would actually get up early to do my hair and make-up. I usually owned more make-up than any human being ever needed. I mean really, what 14 year-old needs 14 lipsticks?
Later, in university, I stopped wearing make-up and doing my hair altogether. My complacency was at least partially rooted in my relationship – I no longer felt it necessary to ‘try’ (which turned out being a fairly bad idea since he cheated, although, if he cheated simply because I stopped wearing make-up he wasn’t worth it anyways). And I never really picked it back up again. I owned make-up but I only wore it on ‘special occasions’. These occasions were so few and far between that I am sure my friends genuinely wondered if I didn’t wear it because I didn’t know how to apply it.
Years later I got fairly bad adult acne and believe it or not, adult acne makes make-up the worst option in the world. Nothing makes your already bad skin look worse than plastering on foundation. So, I gave up on make-up in general. I still owned it and would wear it under duress but never felt any great need to wear it day to day. And needless to say, not wearing make-up came hand in hand with generally not doing my hair. I would keep it long so I could wear it up, or down, really, I never saw the point. I much preferred to sleep than do myself up. If there is one thing acne does (other than ruin your life) is make you really not give a crap about what you look like. You kinda know you look gross so you give up.
Accutane eventually repaired my acne issues. I ended up with lovely skin. So lovely I didn’t really feel the need to cover it up with make-up! So, still no make-up.
I can’t lie though, I did wear make-up in the months leading up to getting together with Iron Man. I mean, let’s be honest, I am not a moron, I know I look better with make-up. Or rather, I know I look better when I try to look nice, it doesn’t necessarily take a lot of make-up, it does take some effort. So as Iron Man and I flirted there was definitely more black liner in my life.
And then we got together, fell in love, got engaged, got married and —– yeah, somewhere along the way, the make-up got lost. Whoops…seriously though – 15 minutes extra sleep vs. foundation and mascara? Sleep almost always wins.
Until this fall. This fall I made a commitment to do my hair and make-up every day. I did really well to start – made it a month before I took my first ‘hair up’ day. And I have worn make-up every day.
So what does this have to do with aging? Well, wearing make-up everyday has also lead to 4 bouts of pink eye (otherwise known as a staph eye infection – or conjunctivitis). This is generally caused, at least in my case, by not being good enough with washing my hands at work (surrounded by dirty kids), having a lowered immune system due to stress, and, as it turns out, having old make-up.
So, as it turns out, not wearing make-up means that I rarely have to buy make-up. This means I keep it too long. So when I got my most recent bout of pink eye (last week), I decided enough was enough, all the make-up had to go (well, all my eye makeup and concealer). Usually I just throw out the mascara but this many bouts in a couple of months? Yeah, not normal. I figure that with new make-up and a healthy (or unhealthy?) addiction to purell I might be able to succeed in avoiding future infections.
I SWEAR I AM GETTING TO THE AGING PART! (longest winded blogger ever)
So I went to Sephora, bought new make up and, of course, got a bonus gift…I picked the anti aging cream. It suggests that in 10 days I will see a difference. So I am taking my picture every night for 10 days. Then I will compare. Of course, the stuff they gave me as a gift – $95 a full sized (but small) jar. That stuff had better make me look like a teenager at that price.
Taking a picture of myself every night, with no make-up on, well, it hasn’t done great things for my self esteem. I realize now that I might have a droopy eye (I am hoping it is because of the eye infection but I am not convinced, I think it is droopy). I also have this really annoying thing that my eyebrow does, a few of the hairs won’t stay where they should. It drives me insane. I have this weird scarring (????) on the sides of my face by lips – either that or aging, I can’t tell. I have lots of wrinkles. My lips are too skinny and aren’t nicely symmetrical. I could go on. But really, is there a point? The thing is, I don’t really think I am ugly. I still see beauty. But mostly, I see age.
Iron Man is going to hate this paragraph but in the name of honesty I have to include it. A lot of my feelings on aging are due at least in part to the fact that Iron Man is over 6 years younger than me. He’s gorgeous, and I don’t just think that because he is my husband. He has crows feet but they are sexy. They make me think of George Clooney. But getting older just means getting more distinguished looking when you are a guy.
I know Iron Man loves me the way I am. And I know that he will love me 10 years from know and 20 years from know and 30 years from know. But I still want to look younger so that I don’t look too much older than him. It makes me think that $95 anti-aging cream is worth it. It makes me think that $140 anti aging cream that I was researching online is worth it. It makes me think botox is worth it.
I am not generally a very vain person. I mean, I kinda am, because in all honesty, I like it when I look good. I like looking pretty. But a lot of the time, I like sleep more! So really, how vain can I possibly be? 🙂 But still, when it comes to aging…sigh.
There is a second part to this aging issue. It involves babies. And baby-making. But this post is already long enough as it is. I will keep that topic for another day. And, in about 8 days I will post the pictures of my ‘anti-aging cream’ experiment. I am a little worried that it might work – because then I might have to find $95 for a tub of this stuff.
Do you have any creams/scrubs/masks that you swear actually make a difference?